Internal Dialogue: What Stories Am I Telling Myself?

Mindfulness

Despite writing in both my first blog post and the one year reflection post explaining that I go inward to draw strength I am absolutely baffled on how to capture this process on demand. As I regain my footing in this arena, one source which I find helpful comes from a text in the Leadership and Imagination class: Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life. The book is written in short, powerful chapters. I have been re-listening to it on audio as it feels like walking meditation to me.

The title chapter reminds us that in the grand scheme of things the grass is not greener on the other side because the commonality of the situation is you. Hence the need to look inward. "There is always something to dislike. So why not let go and admit that you might be home wherever you are? Right in that moment, you touch the core of your being and invite mindfulness to enter and heal."  So instead of blaming externals I have been examining the stories I am telling myself. Maybe it's time to retell those stories.

Kabat-Zinn provides me with one way to do this: "There can be no resolution leading to growth until the present situation has been faced completely and you have opened to it with mindfulness, allowing the roughness of the situation itself to sand down your own rough edges." Is this not what developed leaders do? Listen to all sides of the story before (ideally) jointly crafting any change in direction?

Meditation

In the last several months I have become more dedicated to meditation. It can be incredibly challenging to come home after work and begin the second shift: school work. I have found a half hour meditation practice creates a gentle transition into studying--and I enjoy the feeling of calmness and a settled mind from an accepting-what-is practice. Meditation further helps me develop mindfulness. And mindfulness assures me I am telling the right story.

Kabat-Zinn is one teacher with many stories on mindfulness. His explanations are a bit like a diving board. It's there if you need to generate the momentum, but the dive and the results of the dive are up to you.