Can I Forgive?

The readings in this class were powerful stories of survivors of the Holocaust, incest, racism and American Indian genocide. Prevalent in all of these stories was the powerful element of forgiveness. I took these stories into my heart. In the same element I must say I read them as a human being, but they weren't personalized; I didn't engage the question of forgiveness in my heart because I felt I was not close enough to the experience to make an honest wrestling with the topic.

Credit

As a more accessible, but temporary substitute I watched Canadian film The Iran Hostage Crisis: 444 Days to Freedom (What Really Happened in Iran).  Why? As a former Marine, my heart beats in tune with the exemplary actions and integrity of Sgt. James Lopez. The values of the Marine Corps are evident in a gracefully arrogant savoir faire which amuses Marines and annoys most others. For instance in a calm, careful plan to escape the escalating mob in Iran a small group from the American embassy are stopped on the street and searched. An Iranian retrieves an expensive radio from Lopez and starts to walk away. Lopez immediately drew the Iranian's attention back to him by making eye-catching hand gestures and speaking about the radio. Lopez lulled the Iranian into letting him get his hands on the radio, once this was accomplished Lopez casually smashed the radio into bits and pieces and handed the radio back to the Iranian.  

But not all Marines are honorable in every moment. This insight sunk in deeply from reading Man's Search for Meaning in the genesis class of this blog: Leadership and Hardiness. I came to the realization not only are human beings not honorable at all times, but each and every one of us is capable of human atrocity.  For instance Lopez describes what to us is an ultimate betrayal:

"There was one American who shall remain nameless who was going around telling the Iranians who each American was, giving them information. He should've been shot for that, but I don't set policy."

This is a black and white perspective and one I respect. However could I forgive this action if it was a Marine who committed it? Can I forgive someone who violated his honor and did not protect my Marines? From this class I have discovered I can endlessly speculate and try to codify and manipulate my forgiveness based upon conditions. I also discovered I do not want to do this. My wish today is to forgive (even if only in my heart) and find a way to live up to my noble aspirations.