Asking for Forgiveness

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There is a social grace to asking for forgiveness, but I do not believe it is an art. So, if we set aside any paralyzing fears of embracing artistry, it seems to me anyone can ask for forgiveness. So why don't we? Prior to this class I would say I was caught up in the pettiness of unhealthy behavior and I don't remember ever truly asking forgiveness of someone I had wronged. More likely I felt horrible and simply apologized until we either worked it out and moved on or it became a thorn in our sides that never truly went away.  On the flip side if someone asked me for forgiveness I was equally embarrassed and made quick amends hoping these cheap actions would lead to passing the awkward phase quickly.

Luckily I have found there is a better way.  That is to truly, from your heart, ask for forgiveness. How is this done? To be honest, I only have one under my belt so here is but one way to do it. This class required two papers inclusive of taking personal responsibility in a situation and asking forgiveness.  I did not complete the task on my first assignment, but it led me to inevitably conclude I must ask one person I had recently wronged to forgive me. My initial mindset was to be upset with this person because he had reprimanded me for something I didn't do and he knew I didn't do it. I refused to talk to him for weeks. Now mind you, this was my supervisor at work so it made life at work fairly unpleasant for everyone.

Although this class was slim on defining servant leadership by form of required reading (which I now feel I need to catch up on) I quickly realized I needed to take responsibility for creating this work barrier. Even knowing I had to ask forgiveness I shied away from it for another week or so.  One morning, when I could avoid it no longer I asked permission to come in his office. I openly expressed my emotions and feelings and in one sentence I told him which behaviors had hurt me. Then I told him I hadn't been treating him like a friend and I was sorry for that. I finished this by asking forgiveness.

It was awkward for awhile, but now we are co-creating our new relationship and ever aware of how we treat one another. It is still new, but I have confidence we will have a better relationship out of this. I have another forgiveness asking scheduled next week on a trip home. I hope I hear: